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'16 FZ09, Blue
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Fellow braintrust,
I need suggestions as to how I may solve my embarassing problem, BUTT please behind, I mean be kind. Well, let me just say it. If there was a scale to measure this I'd have to say I am on the "more" side of hairy. Nothing crazy, I mean I ain't gonna be in the Guinness record book or anything. When the weather is cooler it's not an issue. BUTT when the humidity shows up here in Va. well things get a little damp under all that gear. I wear riding pants over my regular pants. So as I ride and the seat gives way to my weight on the seat the dampness causes my drawz to cling and as my pants stretch they pull on my drawz and my drawz pull my hair on my ars and it sucks. Riding gets miserable fast. Shew, I feel better now that I've got it out. Anyone brave enough to admit they have a problem? It's ok, if I can do it anyone can do it. And what solutions has anyone come up with. Well, there it is in all it's glory. Actually it's really freeing, I feel like I can conquer the world, LOLOLOLOLOL!
Butt I'm serious I need solutions.
 

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There's no doubt that a problem like this can totally destroy the pleasure of riding. The solution - in whole or in part - lies in the clothing you're wearing in that region of your body. At least some relief will be found if you buy and wear something - jox, shorts, boxers, drawz, whatever you colourfully call 'em - made of a moisture-wicking fabric. Cotton - which only absorbs and holds sweaty moisture - is a decided no-no. Of course, the more layers you wear of conventional/ non-wicking fabric - and it appears you wear at least two layers - the harder it will be to resolve the issue.

The climate where I live and ride is sub-tropical, with extremes of humidity and high heat in the summer months, and I have found that a pair of waist-to-knee compression shorts of the correct wicking fabric makes a helluva difference to both dryness and overall comfort, as they also hold together those loose pink bits down there. You wouldn't want to wear them on honeymoon, but they do make a difference. Numerous brands are available a reasonable cost, so shop around, read the labels, and give a pair a good try-out..
 

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Use a beard trimmer with a 5mm guard and do some manscaping down there where you feel the pulling. Seriously.

Butt (badum tis), never go full hairless unless you want to amplify every bit of air that escapes between your cheeks. Without going too far into liquid dynamics, you gotta keep some hair to ease the flow of gasses.
 

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I wear riding pants over my regular pants.
I think that is a huge contributor right there. I have never doubled up on pants, just underwear and vented riding pants in the hot weather.
As mentioned, NEVER wear 100% cotton, I use vented, moisture wicking boxer briefs under vented textile pants and Gold Bond or similar powder. Periodically stand a bit while riding to get a burst of air flow going through those vented riding pants.
 

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Yeah man, get some vented pants and just wear one layer.
Two layers might do more harm than good if they bunch up in a slide.
 

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I use a sheepskin pad on the riders seat. Fresh as a daisy.

Bike shorts are fine to wear under something, on their own it looks like you're wearing a sanitary towel.
 

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I use a sheepskin pad on the riders seat. Fresh as a daisy.

Bike shorts are fine to wear under something, on their own it looks like you're wearing a sanitary towel.
I'm pretty sure us bicycle shorts wearing riders wear them under our riding pants. If not, send photos so I can laugh.
 
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Please remember that cornstarch (cornflour) and water mixed together makes a binding agent to thicken sauces. It makes edible glue.
Dont put edible glue on your arse.
Valid point.. Ive strayed away from powders because I've made enough wall spackle to patch a hole in the wall. I just get out my trimmers once in a while and call it a day. If it's really bad and uncontrollable, there's always lazer hair removal. I know a guy, his nickname is Wolfman. Guy has a carhart suit made of hair from his neck to his ankles, hot summers are not fun for him. If you gotta shave it, shave it man. No harm in taking care of yourself.
 

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Please remember that cornstarch (cornflour) and water mixed together makes a binding agent to thicken sauces. It makes edible glue.
Dont put edible glue on your arse.
I'll take this one step further, one of the chefs i work with was shuffling bowl legged and his face was bright red. He yells "WHO PUT CAYENNE PEPPER IN MY CORNSTARCH"😡😂
 

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2013 MT09 (NO ABS BEAST MODE) Teleportation Device.
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Fellow braintrust,
I need suggestions as to how I may solve my embarassing problem, BUTT please behind, I mean be kind. Well, let me just say it. If there was a scale to measure this I'd have to say I am on the "more" side of hairy. Nothing crazy, I mean I ain't gonna be in the Guinness record book or anything. When the weather is cooler it's not an issue. BUTT when the humidity shows up here in Va. well things get a little damp under all that gear. I wear riding pants over my regular pants. So as I ride and the seat gives way to my weight on the seat the dampness causes my drawz to cling and as my pants stretch they pull on my drawz and my drawz pull my hair on my ars and it sucks. Riding gets miserable fast. Shew, I feel better now that I've got it out. Anyone brave enough to admit they have a problem? It's ok, if I can do it anyone can do it. And what solutions has anyone come up with. Well, there it is in all it's glory. Actually it's really freeing, I feel like I can conquer the world, LOLOLOLOLOL!
Butt I'm serious I need solutions.
Engage the squid within lad.
 

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Step 1 is padding and wicking layers (ie: bike shorts + light long underwear).

Step 2 - the nuclear option - is a white sheepskin ($40 Cdn. at IKEA). Looks outta place on an FZ/MT09, but it's the most cool and comfortable thing you'll ever experience.
 
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